My mother in law is coming to visit. From UK. I should be careful what I write here as one day I could be a mother in law - 4 times over and maybe then I will look back and see things differently. But I have made a pact with a very good friend of mine - if she gets as bad as hers I will give her a good slap and she'll do the same for me.
The GOOD thing (in a way?) about living so far away from home is that the family doesn't just arrive on your door step ** or they don't just pop in at inconvenient times,. I am sure if we were back in uK my MIL (mother in law) would turn up far more than I would actually want her to.
However when the relatives come to stay the COME to STAY. For quite a while. 15 days this time around. But at least my FIL is not coming over - he is a real nutter if ever there was one. It has become slightly easier since the children were born as we have common ground we can all focus on. And I have free babysitting (I have just been reading horror stories about Grandmas who charge to babysit their own Grandkids). However, my MIL had a bad relationship with her own MIL and she seems set to give me a hard ride just to prove that's the way it is done. Here are a few classic things about my MIL:
She will not drive over here at all (nor will father in law which is even more annoying as he is very old school and says things like 'Easy now' or 'Nicely done' when you go around a corner).
She doesn't lift a finger when she stays with us, but expects to be waited on hand and foot.
However she does make an exception with her tea cups - she will 'rinse them out' rather than put them in the dishwasher but she does this without her glasses on so there are always tea stains in them. Pretty gross.
She will not use any American appliances. MY dishwasher is German and my washing machine Swedish but nontheless....
She devours kitchen roll/paper. It goes so fast. I don't know what she does with it. Back home in UK she buys the cheap ones so it is maybe no big deal for her to use 2 a day but I buy 'Viva' and use it sparingly...I hide it by about Day 3 of her visit and look the other way when she says 'I can't find the kitchen roll.'
She also waters down dish soap/washing up liquid. She says its as its consistency is too thick. I beg to differ.
She drinks tea a lot. She dumps the old tea bag in the sink. This drives me INbloodySANE as the trash is a ft away from the sink.
She cannot use a sink without spraying water all over the mirror.
She is never on time. Hard when you have schedules of picking up kids etc. Once she rushed so much that she picked up hubby's sneakers/trainers instead of her own (ok so they were quite similar) and walked around our destination like a clown in oversize shoes.
She once had a conversation with me in which she hinted at with-holding sex from hubby if he didn't pull his weight around the house.
She askes for Christmas/Birthday lists then buys things completely not on said lists.
She always refers to hubby as 'my son' rather than his actual name - to me.
On our wedding reception video she 'joked' how she'd asked him to have a pre-nup (but we were married under CA law - it would be a 50 50 split. She would die if she knew this).
She tries to engage complete strangers in conversation - or says the most inappropriate things. She once complimented a stranger on her shorts - asked her where she'd bought them from and when the lady said she didn't recall, MIL told her to turn around and she'd check the tag.
On another occasion she met up with one of hubby's old friend's mums..a previous neighbour she hadn't seen for almost 20 years. 'I see you haven't found the same box as me then.....' she said pointing to the woman's naturally grey hair.......
She calls herself by a posher name than she was given. A posher version. But it is not her real name. Nonetheless she kept quiet about this when we used it as daughter's middle name (we didn't know it was fake at the time).
She is deaf in one ear. But doesn't like to wear her hearing aid as she thinks it is very noticeable. However yelling 'Eh?' 100 times a day in a broad Belfast accent would never give the game away would it?
** However there was one time about 15 months ago that Hubby's brother was over here in USA. He was in Vegas and due to arrive here to see us on the Friday. He called on the Monday to tell us he was in a cab at the airport on his way 'a bit earlier' . Here in this city. Giving us about 20 minutes to get his room ready etc.
UPDATE
So she has arrived...and we have had another celebration this New Years Day with a big meal of Beef Wellington (no comment from her on how it was) and we have just opened Christmas presents. Lots of nice things for the kids it must be said but as soon as they put them down she was at it with her 'Do you not like ......so and so.....Paddy?' as though they should hold on to it and sleep with it for the next year. She did buy me a nice pair of PJs as I had suggested.....but she bought size 14 whereas I had asked for 10--12. Just a little dig but a dig nonetheless. I didn't even rise to the bait....but thanked her very much.
Today we are going to watch a Broncos game. I am not a huge American football fan (and that's an understatement) but it is a corporate do so we will be nice and cosy in a box with a bar and lots of catered food.
But there is something about the atmosphere about a football game here. The stadium itself is pretty impressive but just the whole hoo haa around the game is something else and the way the crowd really support the teams without abuse and fighting between the fans....that is what makes the game. It is hovering at freezing here today so it will be interesting to see what the wee Cheerleaders are wearing.....the team itself has not been playing well this season so it is not as though this game is gonig to put us through to anything like the Superbowl (ha!) but nonetheless, gonig to see it is still quite a novelty to me.
Just heard a crash in the kitchen - sounds like someone has broken a vase......husband or the 1 yr old???
Do you have an order that you follow in life? By that I mean a routine? Sure, I have the whole 'weekday morning' thing going on with packed lunches, breakfasts, and getting the kids to school but I also have some things organised in my me time so to speak.
The computer. The sites I read. ANd the blogs I read. I have them on a sidebar and I hit them fairly regularly to see friends' and strangers' updates. Their childrens' achievements, their take on current events, the state of their homelife...it's a way to connect. Then it gets to a point where I lose interest in some. I keep them listed in my favourites but quite frankly I don't hit them so much as they don't update so often or they seem to be leading in a direction that no longer appeals to me. Sometimes I am shocked with out of nowhere blatant statements that alter the perception I have of the writer. And its interesting to see how they deal with comments - do they follow up? do they just ignore? It's a social science in itself.
Saturdays I read the Sunday papers (UK) on line before I sleep. Normally. Having said that this month I have read a lot more American news outlets online too. I never watch the news on tv and I rarely buy a newspaper.
Just came home from the movies. Saturday night at the movies - pretty rare but I really wanted to see Atonement (it was so busy in the theater) and I am running out of spare nights to go and I don't know how long it will play. I finished the book just last night and so I remembered it all - it was interesting to actually see where they stayed true to the writing and where they went off a little. James McAvoy is as hot as ever. I am always well impressed that I never hear a trace of his Scottish accent in his acting - he gets it really spot on. When I first saw him in Shameless I had no idea he was Scottish at all. The fact that he is well it reminds me very much of someone I was once very very close to who was also from that area of Glasgow and whose accent could literally bring me to my knees. Many moons ago.
In case you have no idea WHO I am talking about (the actor - not the guy from my past) here is a taste. Enjoy!
So despite the view from my kitchen window yesterday being this:
and the fact that it snowed all day, we drove up to the mountains today. For once AFF I have brought my camera so will load some photos for you.......
This afternoon we went tubing. I have never ever done this before. I think the nearest I came to it was at University, sliding down a hill covered in snow on trays that we had 'borrowed' from the cafeteria. Anyhow, we all went to the Nordic Center, paid for the tubes and then headed over to the slope. It wasn't too busy but it was way below freezing and despite being well wrapped up with hats, gloves and ski clothes etc it got v v cold quickly so all in all we did maybe an hour. I had a go. My summary is I don't like speed. Fine in a car but me and snow and speed are not a good combination - maybe this is why I am such a wuss at skiing too. I have to close my eyes and I feel a rush in the pit of my stomach- to some this is an adrenaline rush but to me it is just sheer terror. Luckily my kids have not inherited this and are quite daredevils. I flinch when I see the slopes they can ski down etc. I admire them so much and am pleased they know no fear.
It is strange the way things have turned out. Where I grew up and the way I gre up I think it is fair to say that skiing was something we could never afford. There were school trips but we could never afford them and I never really felt like I was missing out. A few friends went on them, had a good time and described it all but it wasn't something I ever felt I was longing to do. At all.
I first tried skiing over here with some friends on the East Coast. It was a group lesson, I was crap but the lesson progressed along with the abilities of the majority of the group. I remember going up a slope being really worried how I would get down. It was actually quite dangerous as I had no skills to speak of, no idea how to stop. I was running into cushioned barriers and was lucky I didn't break a bone.
Then when we moved out here to Colorado, well actually before that when we had to schlepp out here each year for hubby's business conferences in Vail, I avoided the idea of skiing as I always had a baby/toddler/was pregnant. But once we moved here my excuses were getting limited and where as before hubby had dismissed the idea as ludicrous, he had had some private lessons and loved it. Bought all the gear and then some and was seriously hooked.
So I had some lessons - with a very bad attitude it must be said:
Instructor 'So tell me, mumof4 (then 3) why you want to learn to ski...'
Me ' Because my husband is giving me a guilt trip that he has managed to do it, my kids are learning and I am holding the family back....' Not the best outlook. But I did learn a little and was in real pain. Feet really hurt. All normal husband said. My toenail went a funny colour - again, quite normal according to my hubby - did I tell you he is so not a DR? Then my toenail was bleeding, agony, and I went to see a proper Dr who told me this is not the way you should be feeling after skiing. Long long recovery - and I have a complete foot phobia to begin with. New boots, a new baby and no more excuses later, I have been on the slopes this year.
Normally I am so knackered from dropping off the kids at all their various classes that come my turn the last thing I want to do is hobble to the easy slopes. I see all the people decked out in their sometimes silly looking ski clothes, their stilted walk, their almost poking peoples' eyes out with their ski poles and I think 'you snooty sods'. I need to get over it. I too am one of them. But to me it still feels like something for the rich...the passes, the gear, the snacks for the day - it does not come cheap.
My kids take it for granted. I am not sure this means they are spoiled. They never asked to do it. We basically made that decision for them - and I am sure there are days they are in ski lessons when really they would rather be doing something else. They have no idea of the costs involved. They do not know how lucky they are. They don;t always thank us for taking them just like we don't always thank them for doing it in the first place. But they are quite lucky really. I hope it is something they will look back on and appreciate. To be 9 and have no fear of black diamonds is quite something. So tomorrow there is skiing on the agenda.
It always strikes me as strange over here how there is such a hoo-ha on the run up to Christmas Day and then Boxing Day doesn't exist. Everything is back to normal 26th December, so you have Dr's appts to get to at 9am, banks are opening, and late Christmas cards etc are arriving in the mail.
So this morning, with hubby being off work he had booked in his car at the garage along with every other Audi driver in the area it seems. I don't quite understand why an Audi Q7 less than a year old needs new tires but I wasn't involved as he had a loaner. We arranged to meet later so that I could swap cars with him so Bee and I could go to her Drs appt and he could take the boys home for me.
Carpark, 2 hrs later - he turns up in an Audi A4 (?) saying 'It is brand new, only has 15 miles on it so watch yourself on these roads - no pressure though.' Consider that it was below freezing all day, most of the main roads had been plouged after yesterday's snow but the minor roads were all icy I drove very very carefully - that would be one thing I'd never have heard the end of. It was a nice little car and it is still in one piece but it is ages since I have driven a real car (the last was the Mini we had) and it was like driving sat on the road surface itself it felt so low down. It went really well though but I did feel it skidding a bit round the corners,. We are due a new storm tomorrow so I hope the other car comes back before then. Needless to say the DB9 is not going to do well in this current weather and is sleeping nicely in the garage.
So Bee saw my friend's husband the dermatologist and despite our 6 weeks of antibiotics no real progress has been made. Next approach is TB test (ongoing now) and then maybe a new thing which is administered once a week through an injection. Oh her face was a picture. But it is worth a try. He mentioned being concerned that the psoriasis can affect joints and cause arthritis.... not a route we want to go. We need insurance approval for this as these are expensive drugs. He said a year's course is in the region of $25 OOO! We get a different medical plan as of 1/1 so we will see,
Mac has lost his glasses. He had them on last night when he was getting his PJs on. In between there and bedtime he took them off 'somewhere.' I have searched all over today. The car now has a load more stuff ready for the charity shop after sorting through their room. I have been through all the obvious places but to no avail. We didn't leave the house so they have to be here somewhere. We have offered the kids a reward. $10 cash which tonight turned into $10 + a toy of their choice at the shop. We think Mac secretly knows where he put them but he is just waiting until the reward goes up a bit more. Grrrrr.
Despite the weather men saying we had just a 33% chance of snow we awoke to a fresh layer of the stuff and it snowed all day long. Apparently it is some type of record for snowfall on Christmas Day as we got 7 inches. Lovely to watch from the inside and also as we didn't need to drive anywhere or even go outside today.
We all had a great Christmas. We spread the present opening over the full day. The last presents were unwrapped at 4.30 and the kids were all in bed by 7.30. Favourite presents, in no particular order were the Power Tour Electric guitar, a secret password diary, a Go Diego Go set and a Sesame Street Vacuum thingy.
Oh and this - no it wasn't for one of the boys....
Thank you Ms Spade.
Happy Christmas to you all.
So all the cards have arrived it seems. I do Christmas Cards even though I know a lot of people think it is environmentally sinful. As I mentioned before, I found out in one card how a friend had broken up with her husband,. Well at least she had written it to me in a personal message. Today I received a card from a friend in another country and I saw that it was not signed from her husband but from herself and her children. Included in the card was a 'round robin' type letter. Paragraph 2 contained the info that she had decided the marriage was in trouble and they had seen counsillors but to no avail - they were separating, she had moved out and the marital home was on the market. The kids are, in her mind, dealing with it all jsut fine. Oh and the last paragraph focused on how she is looknig forward to a new year, a new start and more happiness with her new bloke.
Am I alone in thinking this personal stuff is a bit misplaced in a Christmas Card letter addressed to all? Or maybe I am just an old fogey?
In another card I learnt an old babysitter just eloped and got married. Really unexpected. But very happy for her.
So we have a new mailbox which thrills me in quite a pitiful way. So mail is now delivered again and I don't have to schlepp to the Post Office -although the kids were sort of getting used to the Christmas Cookies that were there for waiting customers.
Lots of Christmas cards on the delivery today. Some from people I have never heard of - must be hubby's work colleagues.
Got a thank you from my dentist for referring him to a friend of mine who just moved into town. As well as the letter of thanks they enclosed a lottery ticket as a sign of their thanks!!?? Anyone ever had that happen? Slightly unusual.
Also got a card from a German friend who admittedly I only write to a couple of times a year. I think I must have missed a letter somewhere though. I had sent her a card - a Christmas card addressed to her and her husband Hans. In this years card she wrote 'as you know, Hans and I split up in 2006 and our divorce will be final in a few weeks. I have met someone new and it is wonderful - we are living together and surprise surprise we are 5 months pregnant....' Oh crap. Dare say she didn't appreciate my card to her and soon to be ex-husband then., Whoops.
Schwangerschaftskarte wird nachste Woche unterwegs......
So hubby has taken the older 2 kids to the mountains for some snow shoeing and skiing. We were all going to go up but somehow or other, the school chaos of this week and the countdown to Christmas has made my house get sooooo messy that I opted to stay here with the smaller ones and basically clear up for a few days. Easier said than done with mountains of laundry everywhere (no washing machine STILL not mended - a part needs to be ordered and with Christmas...this is likely to take even longer). Lots of presents to wrap etc. Having said all this I am now sat here just reading through my favourite blogs and having a drink - so cleaning is not really happening. Popcorn has been made however, one is down for a nap and another is watching a Christmas movie. I will go down and snuggle with him soon but will first need to find the baby listener incase I end up snoozing...to hear when the youngest wakes up. There is snow on the ground, the Christmas tree still has its needles on and so I should feel the festive spirit and go and spend time with Mac at least. I have just been filming his 'moves' with his fake guitar as he did his thing along to the 'Flushed Away' sound track. One day that video will come back and haunt him I am sure but it was just too precious - it had to be done.
Life is far far easier with just the 2 boys. I wonder whether it is easier as squabbling 9 and 7 year old are away or whether it is because hubby is also absent? Mmmmm.
Suburban Mum.....who I read regularly and was kind enough to give me an award....and she has always been very helpful with my ridiculously dumb computer questions. Many thanks. I am so so honored!!!!
