My birthday song.......?
Next year, when you are tempted to buy the $5 Christmas t-shirt from Target, think it through a bit more. You are not flat chested. Boobs - as they are, can cause images to be misleading........
...oh yes, I spent all morning at a school function with a cute gingerbreadman holding my tits.
Next year, just go for the boring bloody snowflake.
He is SO proud. I mean seriously, it's like he has won the pools. Must remember to now go and get tooth fairy dollars. And move the elf. And iron Bee's t-shirt she wants specifically for tomorrow's school fair. And empty dishwasher, finish scrapbooking Pisa (I still have 3 weeks holiday to do). Laundry on, move the elf, write Christmas stickers for cakes I have made for cake stall and find Christmas tree to take with us tomorrow at 8am.
As you do, on a Friday night at 10.55pm. When you are already cream crackered.
Hectic week.
**Mother in law left Tuesday. Free babysitter gone. She left behind a card for me...a Papyrus one (anyone who knows me, knows I love cards...love Papyrus ones especially. I know...waste of paper etc, bad for the environment....so shoot me. It makes my day). She wrote that she was grateful for all I did during her say (ie. ply her with booze?) and she is in awe how I cope.
I was quite astounded that she got that and wrote that. Cope with the kids or cope with her son, the Hubby? Close call. Ironically though, these last few weeks I have felt so close to losing it. As in sitting on a stool with head between knees and silently screaming. Or having mental trafficjam and feeling unable to achieve anything. So her card, meant a lot.
**A trip to two DMVs (dept of motor vehicles) with 3 year old was not much fun. Driving record only has one ticket. But according to Hubby, my 'drivers license weight' (it was, in my defence, 5 years and 1 kid ago) should be classed as a misdemeanor in itself. And no, I STILL haven't learnt all I need for my Citizenship test. I still have 14 days to cram.
**Hubby also left Monday. After much bitter moaning on his part, about my taxi services to the airport. I was seriously tempted to just dump him and his super light luggage on I-70 and tell him to do one. Of course he misses us now he is away. In London. (jealous - much).
**Mac's teacher sent home a note MONDAY NIGHT reminding me I was responsible for the class snack (for 27 kids) for all next week. Made a mental note. Then Tuesday - The VERY NEXT DAY (after first MIL drop off at the airport) she called to say she SHOULD have put the note in his bag LAST week....and she needed snack for 27 in the next hour. When I was a good 40 minutes drive from school. Needless to say they were 'store bought' that day. Having said that I have 29 cupcakes waiting to be iced in the kitchen right now.
**Best friend returns home from trip tomorrow. Got a text saying to never let her travel with her young kids again - she is suffering from 2 hours time difference and judged by the inlaws-i-tus. Oh yes! Know it well. But she did get to eat out in Buckhead and visit Atlanta IKEA, so you really can't have it all.
**Mac has ahis first loose tooth. He is very excited and even thought as far as putting the plug in the sink when brushing his teeth, in case it came out alone. Like the strategic thinking there.
**Bee is in hormone meltdown. She has lost phone priviledges and showers in her bathroom priviledges for a week. The latter is from her flooding the bathroom once too often despite new shower curtain. She now has to go into the boys bathroom (not when they are in it) and shower there. This, can be a true punishment. Right now she hates me I am sure, but you've got to live and learn, don't you?
**4 year old double birthday party today which was much fun. Was even able to sneak a coke (diet, not hardcore drug) and a chat on the phone which made me feel grown up and human and everything I thought I should be by my age....Rory survived a poke in the eye by a strange kid and I chatted with his friends' moms about sleep number beds, loss of nipple sensitivity after breast reduction op, cost of IVF, getting birthday cake food coloring out of clothes and hardwood floors(not the coloring out of hardwood floors although Paddy has stained his marble bathroom surround with blue mouthwash if anyone has any ideas?) I know how to rock a party, babe!
**A 3 year old drinking too much apple cider (non alcoholic) can have CERTAIN CONSEQUENCES.
**Am busy with Christmas presents. Working on something unique for Hubby. Time consuming and despite my best intentions I fell asleep in the chair at 8.30pm tonight instead I decided to take a little break tonight. Having spent $164 on supplies at Michaels today.
**Rory and I were at the mall today. Bah Humbug old dear at Sees stand wouldn't give us a sample as she was 'chatting to other old dears.' She didn't say as much but was very rude. I left with boy child (who wasn't bothered) and said 'Well we'll get the 10 boxes we need from the OTHER store.'
**Have 2 parties to schlepp the kids to this weekend. So I have a Tony Hawk skateboard to wrap which I think could be easier said than done. And a webkins. And a remote control thingy.
**It has been freezing here the last 2 days - well below freezing in fact - in a most unusual way for this city. Monday I was wearing flip flops it was so warm. Today 10 degrees F (-12 C ish) .....and no sun. It is truly winter.
** Have not had much chance to read books this week. Very strange for me. Cannot believe Friday is here already. It is all going so fast. But in a way not fast enough......
Breathe, think, go and find Paddy's trousers for school tomorrow.....life is good. On we go....
1. They have a bit of an open relationship. I mean, who the fuck has time to have sex with anyone else anyway?
2. Here are your weapons.
3. Do you see this and think 'sugar plum fairy'?
4. Where are you from, Australia?
5. What do you mean the lights were red. Which lights?
6. I told him the ceiling would fall in but he just didn't listen. Well I was right.
7. It takes me about a week to earn $500.
8. What was with your accent?
9. Sorry but I had quite a few photos of fish and eels.
10. I need to lose weight before Hawaii. Will you help?
This always makes me happy.
And you can always need this on a Monday I find...
unable to sleep, she makes a Tweetcloud....who knew?
A lot of people start decorating for the holidays before the Thanksgiving leftovers have been eaten... What about you? When are you going to start putting up your holiday decorations this year?
Well, yesterday I bought a few bits and bobs....and it was easier to put them up rather than put them away.
A lot of places here have their Christmas lights up everywhere, and I don't just mean shops and businesses. Loads of houses get them all professionally put up on their houses and trees. And we have seen a few real Christmas trees on the tops of cars....
A friend told me about this for the younger kids...
Which is the idea of one of Santa's elves coming to your family (you name him and register him on a website)..and basically the elf sits on a shelf or somewhere each day and the kids can talk to him, but not touch him. Adults can touch him. The elf is basically assessing the kids at all times and taking their Christmas wishes back to Santa each night. And travels back to your house each morning, and will be in a new location within the house for the next day's watch. Then December 24th you have to say good bye to the elf until the following year.
It sounds pretty neat and I think Mac and Rory will certainly like it - providing I remember to relocate said elf on my to do list each night before bed.
May get a few of the other Christmas bits and bobs out this next week but probably won't get a real tree for another week or so.
What about you guys?
Hubby and his side of the family are not known for their tact. Not saying mine are either, but the numerous times I have been with a family member (through marriage) and had to stand by as they have whacked someone with their blunt delivery and I've looked down at my shoes/boots and just wanted to be somewhere else....well those occasions have mounted up over the years.
Quite often Hubby relays conversations he has had with colleagues/friends and I am found saying. "PLEASE tell me you didn't really say that...??!" And I am very happy I was not there. Recently he was trying to make a point with someone and he used Michael Jackson as an example;
"Well Michael Jackson might have been one of the worlds greatest performers, but you'd wouldn't really have wanted him to babysit your kids, would you?"
Yes, he really said that, to someone he didn't know so well. Thank God I wasn't there.
Tonight, the mother-in-law who is, quite honestly the QUEEN of non-tact, well she was using Skype to talk to brother in law back in UK. Brother in law, 40 next week, is losing his hair on top. The word 'tufty' springs to mind, but that too would not be a tactful comment, would it? But on the camera, you can quite clearly see his balding head and the sprigs (?) of remaining hair.
"What have you done to your head, son?" asked mother-in-law....."Have you banged it?" she went on. He scowled and looked like he hadn't a clue what she was talking about. It dawned on me where this could be going.
"It's just his hair..." I whispered without moving my lips.
"No, he's HURT his head!" she insisted on camera. Brother in law wipes his head. We see his hand smooth over his remaining few hairs and I cringe. Bee laughs. "Grandma, it's just his hair.." she adds quietly.
Poor brother in law, on camera throughout this, rubs his head again, and mother in law pipes up... "YES!" she yells, "right there!!!!" as though he has just won a spot the ball competition.
It's like the screen freezes for what feels like minutes.
Then very slowly, brother in law says "There is nothing wrong with my head,. I haven't banged it. It's just my head." And we all seem to die in the silence.......
Then tonight Hubby and I went out, first stopping to do a bit of Christmas shopping at the mall. We go into
Abercrombie and Fitch (his choice) where the pong of their cheap perfumes/aftershaves engulfs you as you walk through the door. He goes to try on jeans and I go and look at their clothes for a few minutes and then people watch. He likes 2 pairs of jeans and wants 2 more identical pair. There is some deal on that per $100 you spend, you get $25 in gift vouchers. So he gets me to take 4 pairs of these jeans to assistant and get sub-total to see where we are 100s wise. So I do so and it turns out there is one pair way more expensive than others...still don't get why. So i wait at cash desk observing cute assistant serving others whilst Hubby goes off to look for more stuff.
In observing cute guy, his mannerisms seem quite feminine. It's only when I see him interact with a few customers that I really have him down as gay. Then, in waiting he and I tlak about a few bits and I think he is very funny too.
Hubby returns with more stuff, we pay and he gets his gift voucher thingy cards. So A&F have loads of cool models on their advert- naked skinny girls covering their boobs and six pack hunks, usually near the beach. Cash register guy hands Hubby a six pack hunk gift card and Hubby goes to put it in his wallet.... then comes out with "I'm not sure I actually want this naked guy in my wallet. Might give the wrong idea..." (I look at the guy - apologise with my eyes and then look down at my shoes).... "Can I not have one of the naked girl ones?" he blunders on.....
Oh God.
I meet the eyes of shop assistant and cash desk boy pretends to look behind his register etc and says, 'Sorry, just the male gift cards today..." and he looks at me as though to say, 'It's ok dear, you can't help who you're stood here with, can you?"
Leave store. Start at Hubby with 'I can't BELIEVE you said that!!!'..... then all night, over food etc he kept asking me if I REALLY thought the guy was gay. And if he REALLY sounded a little homophobic with his card comment........
Honestly. OMG. At least I am not blood related....
On the right, gift card Hubby now has in his wallet. LOL.
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Karen said:
Oooh, love that version!! Happy, happy, happy birthday! Hope you have a fab day -- you deserve it!! read more
on Musical Monday
Very fetching read more
on Note to self