mumof4’s blog

Whilst we are in Italy we have decided not to rent a car. This is quite unusual for us. We have, for this week at least, hired some bicycles as there are quite a few bike paths around here. Bike rides here at least have been more to get to an actual destination or to actually get to a shop and being some food home. Whilst motorbike and scooter drivers do have to wear helmets here, bike helmets seem few and far between. There is a whole array of where to put your baby or toddler on your bike. Quite frankly I have seen some people take more care of carrying their vegetables home in their baskets than where others have plonked their offspring on the bike!
I had a bit of a hairy moment myself at a roundabout with a lorry coming a bit too close and my not knowing where to turn off. But all in all I have really enjoyed biking in these parts.
We have also been taking the bus. Buying the tickets from the newsagents or bars and being vaguely aware of where we were going. But the other day we concentrated so hard at getting to a bus stop on time, that we forgot to remember said name of bus stop or the number of the route we were taking. Caused much confusion on the return journey when we turned up at the bus station and I ended up asking the town drunk (who I thought was just an older bus driver out of uniform), and couldn't really tell him where I wanted to get to. He kept insisting I was heading for a town I knew I was not wanting. I just Kept saying 'no BEFORE the beach ' and he just kept insisting there was no such place. We got a bus going in the right direction eventually. Once the bus driver had finished his espresso in a bar. But the bus turned off the main road before our stop. Not sure why, probably just because.
Yesterday, in the pouring rain a bus we were waiting for just didn't show at all. No one else looked at all bothered.
Similarly the other day it took a little bit of oweking our that the initials on the digital display that didn't mean anything to me actually meant our train had been cancelled. Another Italian language learning experience.
Tomorrow we are off to Florence by bus and train. Maybe. Hopefully. If we get the directions right and if the drivers feel like turning up.

Watch this space....

I think one of the reasons I remembered this so vividly was because in the dream itself I was composing a mental email to send to someone explaining it all.

This all seems to have happened over a weekend with real people I know.

I was in a flat with my kids and in the neighbouring flats there were other families that I knew.

Bee was in a dance recital that hubby attended whilst checking his blackberry constantly before he had to leave suddenly at the break to fly to China.

I went to pick up a new sportscar I had ordered. It was red and I drove it out of the showroom. The next day however I was back in the showroom to test drive the car of my dreams. But I am not sure what car this actually was.

On the Saturday we had been invited to the wedding of a colleague's daughter that hubby used to work with. I had a gorgeous strapless dress but hubby then called to say it was not an evening wedding as I had thought but actually a lunch wedding and very subdued. This then became an issue as I would be over dressed and also I had no babysitter. I had arranged for one in the evening but would now need one much earlier. I was frantically calling and texting all my usual sitters but non could help and I was panicking as I knew hubby would be furious with me. I ended up having to ask the neighbours if they could watch the kids. They could.

Hubby then met me at the wedding which was quite understated for the family involved. And at the event was someone I thought I had once dated briefly. I also knew the guys catering the event which was almost embarrassing as they were then serving me so to speak.

After the wedding hubby disappeared again and I went back to the flat to round up the kids. They were in the flat of one of Paddy's mates whose mother was having contractions giving birth to her 3rd child. Another friend, an old neighbour was helping in the role of midwife. In real life these 2 women never knew each other at all.

I got a call from the catering friends to go and meet them for a drink. By this time my kids were in bed and I wanted to go out but again had no sitter and neighbour was busy giving birth so I couldn't go. But then asked older neighbour to listen for my kids with a baby monitor. Something in real life I would never do.

So I left the flat and walked down the slope of an underground carpark to meet the catering guys. Had a few drinks with them and they told me that the wedding they had just catered, despite being a really wealthy family, were notoriously bad at paying their bills.

Walked back to the flat where a young boy with his granny was walking with a real snake. This actually freaked me out so much but the kid thought I was joking and pretending so he brought the pet snake over to me and put it near my neck and I had to threaten to phone the police (!) unless he stopped. And he kept going and I phoned the police (999 or 911 I don't know) and then he stopped before I needed to speak.

Rushed back to the flat in my mind mentally going through the email I wanted to write and send before midnight my time so friend would maybe receive it before the morning their time (so guessing I was back in USA) but when I got back to the flats, all chaos was breaking loose as the baby had been born. Her last. A girl they had named Myra. Which they had no idea of the association of the name in Britain and I wasn't about to tell them. Just 30 minutes later the mum was dressed in a skirt and stood around talking to her friends -ecstatic she had had a girl.

My kids were still up as the old neighbour with the listener had fallen asleep. It took forever to calm them down and get them to sleep.

Then another friend arrived; the single mom of one of Bee's friends from a few years ago, saying she had no money at all and she needed to ask me to make a packed lunch for her little girl for school tomorrow and that she was a very very fussy eater. I didn't have much in as I explained that I didn't do packed lunch for my kids any more. I showed her everything I had but her little girl turned her nose up at most of it. Then they started finding things in my cupboard well past their sell by date and I was mortified! In the end I made her a sandwich full of just 100s and 1000s as that was all we could agree on. They then left and I was finally ready to sit down and write me email when hubby came barging in saying one of the neighbours had phoned and tipped him off that I had been out and left the kids and what the hell was I playing at.

And that is when, in real life, he phoned and my dream stopped.

Not sure anyone still reads my blog full of gibberish but even for me this was really quite gaga.

Having said all that I really did have a very good night's sleep!

It is our third day in Italy. Pisa, our first day, was very busy with tourists. Getting from the airport to the station required not only my Italian but also lots of interesting German earwigging skills for the high school kids who were setting off home. Let's just say they had had 'a very good time'.

Saw the leaning tower or the 'bendy tower ' as Rory called it, but didn't go up it as you had to be 8 or older for that torture and so I stayed with the little ones.

We are now in our rented house at the coast which is very cosy and within easy walking distance of basic shops, pizzerias and the private beach. There was a huge thunderstorm last night which caused a lot of 'disturbed sleep' but was very very cool.

Today we met a friend hubby used to work with here in Italy. An older man with 2 divorces under his belt** and a new lady friend, he kept us laughing with stories clean enough for the kids but with a certain hint of other agendas. I told him I wanted to come to an Italian wedding. He told me that here they have a saying that 'only Jesus Christ made the mistake of suffering 3 times when carrying the cross.' Guess that is a no then.

We spent most of the day at the pool as the sea was red flag worthy today. I had texted hubby that the female lifeguard was in a g string bikini. He thought I was saying this as a plot to get him to show up quicker. It was in fact true. She was a very laid back life guard, paying more attention to her tanning, her cigarettes and her shoes than the kids in the pool. Occasionally sauntering off to the outside shower to cool down and prove to any new guests that she was indeed wearing a g string, occasionally even going in for a cold beer and just hoping no one came to any harm. So laid back the Italians! Occasionally her counterpart Bruno came out. Yesterday he was Mr. Speedo but today he went for the longer shorts look. We were chatting for a while. He asked me if a lot of English people have 4 kids. He also asked me if hubby was still in bed as I was there alone with the kids. Afterwards he was chatting to a single mom there in quite some detail. There were kids doing handstands etc in the pool that in USA would have been a swift blow of the lifeguard's whistle but Bruno was chatting and maybe in with a chance so his pulling was maybe the more important issue we decided.

Mac the social child is trying hard to speak to the Italian kids. Really quite sweet to see. He really wants to join in, is waving his hands madly and pointing a lot. I have translated a fair bit today. Rory on the other hand keeps asking me Italian phrases to reprimand the other kids e.g. 'How do you say in 'talian 'put your hand over your mouth when you cough?' And I just tell him it is 'ciao ' so we don't offend the locals.

Bee and Paddy were trying to talk to some older kids about italy vs America for life in general and school etc. That was interesting to translate at least, a bit like marking GCSE oral Italian exams again. We are meeting these girls at the pool again on Tuesday and I have a feeling I may be discussing 'high school musical' and the like.

We have been using bikes to get around a bit and do the shopping. Bee really loves it and seems to be having more freedom with this than she would back home. We were saying that in Denver at least going for a bike ride is for fun, a hobby, not going to get fresh bread and cheese for tea.

And where as there are places we see here with peeling paint and mismatched tiles etc, you just think it looks cool and Italian where as back home you would just think it was poor workmanship and an eyesore.

Tonight in the market the price on the cash register came up in Euros and what I thought was Lire. I asked the guy why that was as Euros had been here a good 6 (?) years. He said they have a lot of elderly customers who still like to see it in the old money!

But I love mainland Europe and these few days here even have just reminded me how charasmatic it all is.

Well maybe apart from the g string lifeguard....

** after discussing our friend today, Paddy asked it he was divorced and I explained he was, when Mac piped up and told me he knew all about divorce, so I asked him to explain it to me.
'It's when a man and a woman don't like each other any more or when the man wakes up and thinks the woman is ugly that day and so they stop being married and sharing a house and they go and find different men and women to get married with again.'

So there you have it. In case you weren't too sure.

Last week on our drive to the British seaside with our children, I asked hubby to make a detour to a little place called Great Ayton. I remembered having been there as a kid a fair bit.
To go with my very strange upbringing with a grandmother, a great grandmother and the idea that all men were bastards (in a nutshell), we also had a towing caravan despite having no car. I know. Barmy.
But my gran would often pay an aquaintance to tow the caravan to a place for a week or so. (I would spend the whole journey turning around, convinced the thing had fallen off and no one would have noticed!). That was the big holiday for us. And sure enough one of the places I recall us going to was Great Ayton.
I specifically remember having been there when I was 6. We were waiting for a bus at the side of a b road and I was holding our then dog on his lead. Digby was his name and he got his thrills from trying to attack large dogs (he was a Maltese terrier) and also liked to jump out at cars. So Digby decided to take this occasion, August 16 1977 to join Elvis in a sad undignified journey. Digby jumped out at a double decker bus about the same time as Elvis fell off the loo. I had been holding the lead. Hubby refrains from saying I murdered the dog, but implies I threw him under the bus. I didn't. I recall my great gran lifting Digby's squashed body from the tarmac and putting him in a field away from the road. I wasn't allowed to look but I remember trying to see if his eyes had popped out. The bus did stop by the way. I don't remember if we actually got on it or not. My great gran brought back the lead but not the squashed collar. The lead was quite new. But anyway, as a then 6 year old I am sure I would never have believed that 32 years later I would be visiting from America with my hubby and 4 kids. About as alien as imagining that when I am 70 years old I will be living on a canal boat in Holland having become a Professor of Russian Economics married to a Ukranian toyboy or the like.
Probably just as unlikely but you never know....

Well more like cramming 'Buongiorno Italia!' To refresh the old memory before we leave on Friday.

But have also finished;

'More like wrestling than dancing' by Robert Craig.
'The secret life of bees' by Sue Monk Kidd.

And
'My Husband's Lover' by Erin Kaye.

Hubby and I were comparing notes on what we see about English life, and whether we think we could fit in again over here. We have not been in England together since the summer of 2005.
I see people in the street or in the shops around my age and I wonder if I would be like them if I lived here. Would I be wearing clothes like that and shopping with my kids like that? Would we live in a normal house like the ones we see? I actually think that Hubby is far less tolerant than I am. I don't think he could live too close to other houses again. I think we would both maybe go for the middle of nowhere option. Would our kids go to state schools? Far likelier than over in America. Hubby wonders what cars we would have. We passed a new BMW that looks normal size back home where as compared to the Vauxhall Zafiria (?) we are using, it looked like a monster truck!

We have already talked about whether we would remain in USA if anything happened to the other one. I think I would maybe now stay there after all. I am actually quite missing my life in America despite having a good time so far over here. Hubby is sure he would stay out in America. At the end of the day, our kids are Americans. Hence having to explain the concept of a 'chip butty' to Bee today.... And then to have her ask for sauce on her 'Chipiere'.

Scene. 199 steps in Whitby.
Woman; 'Stand there and just try and smile will you? We don't have any photos with you smiling at all. Come on now. Will you just TRY to look happy?'
Long suffering husband; 'Stop making a fuss, woman. People are looking.'

Scene. Country path with ramblers.
Middle aged woman; 'Can you just slow down a bit? My legs aren't as long as yours, you know!'
Her other half; 'Yeah but there's nowt wrong with the size of your mouth though, is there?'

Scene. Mumof4 paying for some clothes and saying she was going to Italy next week.
Shop assistant; 'My grandfather was Italian. I don't remember him much and I have never been but I don't even like pasta!'
Me; 'Riiiiight. Erm... Well then. Erm. I will think of you when I have pasta next week then!'
Shop assistant; 'Yes you remember that miserable old woman who served you in Marks and Spencers who doesn't like pasta!'

As you can see, still coming across bizarreness whereever I am. This is without father in law's broken record of a comment with the kids; 'Don't mess with the best! Because I am the best!' Which he uses when he tries to play fight with them. I usually mutter, 'the best prat' under my breath.

Tonight when we got back from our visit to the Lake District my mother in law's first words were, 'Did you bring my pillows back then?' as the kids had taken two in the car. More important than seeing if we had had a nice time. Obviously.

And despite this house being FULL of furniture from our flat here which we sold 3 years ago. And the in laws making full use of our dining table and chairs, leather sofas, 4 beds and mattresses. 2 TVs, wardrobe and chest of drawers, the only thing mother in law has asked me if I remembered was a well used pizza tray!!??

Still nosey despite being away. So answers please. Mine are included...

1. When was the last time you dreamt about someone you probably shouldn't have?

LAST NIGHT.

2. One of your main phobias?

SNAKES.

3. Last time you borrowed something from a friend or neighbour and what was it?

PUNCH BOWL from a FRIEND last year.

4. What do you put on your toast?

MARGARINE and MARMALADE.

5. Last time you swore?

ABOUT 5 MINUTES AGO. Said 'FUCK'.

6. You have to watch a movie 3 times in a row. What would you pick?

GOODFELLAS.

7. Is there an author you would always buy a book from without even reading the synopsis?

YES SEVERAL. DAVID LODGE.

8. One of your most expensive items of clothing?

AN ORANGE LEATHER JACKET I BOUGHT ON A WHIM ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO AND HAVE WORN TwICE!

9. Last doctor's visit?

MAY. ANNUAL PHYSICAL.

10. Favourite fruit?

GRAPES.

11. Last time you listened to someone but thought 'shut the fuck up!' In your head...

TONIGHT AS HUBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT BUYING A HOUSE.

12. Bubble bath?

ALWAYS.

13. Last phone call made?

TONIGHT TO BANK IN USA TO TRACK DoWN NEW AtM CaRDS.

So tomorrow we head home to England. That is if I haven't throttled the inlaws by then die to their CONSTANT whittering about the baggage allowances of jet2 or whoever we are travelling with.
I will be so pleased to be out of my father in law's place here although I am still unsure if I have detested it so much because of it's 1950's state or whether it is just due to him generally. I have felt slightly better hearing other cousins here saying they also hate the place due to it's dingy bathroom and lack of heat. On the first night here I thought I would die of cold even going to bed with a hot water bottle! The fact that fil and mil kept saying little gems like, 'It's really not too cold tonight,' or, 'it feels nice and warm after all' didn't do anything to alleviate the aching freeze in my bones.
There is also no TV here. Actually that is not true. Fil is just too tight to pay for a license and is worried about being caught so he has a TV but he only brings it in for things he really wants to see. The Apprentice was the only thing considered risk worthy here during my stay.
But yesterday I persuaded hubby to get is back to a holiday mode so we took the kids to Belfast to do touristy things. Got a really good family photo on the Eye. Then had a huge issue remembering where we had parked the car in huge strange city. Mm. Sat nav for pedestrians could be on a wish list... We were lucky we didn't get a ticket.
But we made it out to Giant's causeway and the nearby take your life in your hands ropebridge. Rory did so well with all the walking. Maybe this is why he has been sleeping so well here?
It was just such a different atmosphere away from the in laws.

I have met so many of hubby's cousins and all their offspring. We seem to have been popping in for five minutes here there and everywhere for days. There have been proper family get togethers with 20 kids under the age of 12, making so much noise in the garden that I am amazed the neighbours didn't complain. Another family had 3 bouncy castles brought in for all the kids. And every big do Mac has been wanting to know if there are goody bags at the end! Tonight at another cousin's house when he asked Mac what he wanted to drink, Mac replied how he had already ordered! Like it was a cafe!

We have only had a couple of hours rain the 11 days we have been here which is pretty good going by all accounts.

Tomorrow Rory will get to see England for the first time. Oh and Marks and Sparks here I come!!!

Have had some time to read whilst we have been here. Will pass on the books to my mil perhaps.
Can thoroughily recommend 'Still Alice' by Lisa Genova. A really thought provoking novel.
Also read 'As sure as the sun' by Anna McPartlin.

Was surprised that the diary book 'Go ask Alice' by anonymous was actually an account from 1967!

And a good holiday thriller has been 'No second chance' by Harlan Coben.

Very much looking forward to hitting a bookshop in England!